Forget 'quiet quitting' — here’s why loud boundaries are better for work wellbeing

May 24

May 24 Forget 'quiet quitting' — here’s why loud boundaries are better for work wellbeing

Boundaries don’t end with your personal relationships. They extend to the workplace too, and are crucial in preventing burnout, as well as boosting productivity. We explore the four types of boundaries, why they matter, and 9 hot tips on how to set them.

Before we start, take a look at these questions:

Do you check work emails outside of office hours?
Do you make yourself available on Slack 24/7, ready to problem-solve at any moment?
Do you agree to take on work that may be outside of your job description?
Have you forgotten the last time you booked a vacation?
Do you constantly cover for coworkers who are not pulling their weight?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may have a boundary issue at work. It’s so easy to stay plugged into work outside of your normal hours thanks to smartphones, but the tendency to be “always on” is a huge contributor to the stress and anxiety we feel when it comes to our work lives.

You aren’t a machine, and you are more than your work (no matter how much you love your job). You need downtime to focus on rest, relaxation, relationships, and all the other important things that make up your life. This balance is a huge part of the foundation for a healthy work relationship.

What exactly are boundaries at work?

Boundaries are rules and guidelines that you implement for yourself at work (and everywhere else) to protect the integrity of who you are, beyond just your job description.

In a nutshell, our boundaries teach others how to treat us. They demonstrate what we allow, what we say no to, and what we reinforce with our words and actions.

Without robust boundaries, we may start to feel overwhelmed and undervalued at work. It’s one of the best ways we can take charge of our relationship with work, and we should each feel empowered to set the tone for what we need and how we want to be treated.

The four types of boundaries

Let’s explore the different types of boundaries you can set at work.

1. Emotional Boundaries

Emotional boundaries are all about respecting and honoring your feelings and energy. This may look like:

Clearly communicating how you’d like to receive feedback
Being sensitive to others feelings, while not taking on their mood
Respecting your, and other people’s, personal space and time away

2. Physical Boundaries

Physical boundaries are all about personal space, your comfort with touch, and your physical needs, like rest. This may look like:

Sharing preferences for touch (handshakes, hugs, etc.)
Turning down after-work events
Prioritizing needs like a walk at lunch, or quiet time at a break

3. Mental Boundaries

Mental boundaries are all about how you share and protect your mental space. This may look like:

Taking mental health days and time off
Not getting involved in office gossip/drama
Setting away messages when in deep work mode

4. Time Boundaries

Time boundaries are all about how you spend and protect your time. This may look like:

Declining unnecessary meetings
Setting your work hours (if you’re able to) and sticking to them
Communicating when you don’t have space to take on more work

Nine tips for setting boundaries like a boss

Setting and communicating our boundaries is not an easy task, and oftentimes, rather intimidating. Telling people what you need might seem selfish, aggressive, or even rude. We get it.

But it's also important. Boundaries allow us to feel safe and respected both physically and emotionally. Honoring our limits helps us take better care of ourselves, builds trust, prevents burnout, and infuses more meaning and authenticity into our relationships.

And there’s a way to do it that protects our best interests and helps those we work with understand us better.

While most of us weren’t taught this vital life skill in school, it’s never too late to start exploring how we might benefit from better boundaries. Here are a few ways to begin:

1 | Tune in to your body to understand when a boundary needs to be set

Our bodies always give us signals when we’re near a personal limit. Notice if you feel your jaw tighten or your fists clench. Maybe you start to squirm, or you break into a sweat? Perhaps you feel it in your throat or stomach? Whatever the cue, honor what your body tells you and take some time to explore your discomfort and understand the arising boundary.

💙 Explore boundaries through your physical body with Mel Mah’s Daily Move session on Work Boundaries

2 | Understand your priorities

Your time is a limited and valuable resource. If you try to please everyone, you not only purchase a one-way ticket to burnout and resentment, you also deny yourself the pleasure and growth of focusing on what you value. Next time you say yes to someone, make sure you’re not saying no to yourself. Take some time to write a list of priorities and compare it to where you spend your time and energy to assess if you need to make any adjustments.

💙 Reconnect with the important stuff with this meditation: Tuning into What Matters

3 | Communicate with clarity

Practice saying no when you don’t want to do something. You don’t have to explain yourself or offer an excuse. The following phrases are complete answers: “No, thank you.” “Thanks, but I can’t.” You’ll learn how to navigate communicating your boundaries in the worksheets to come.

💙 Get tips on how to communicate your boundaries with Preparing To Speak Up and Speaking Up

“Remember, it’s okay to set boundaries. It’s okay to speak up for your needs and values in your workplace. When you communicate clearly, honestly, and kindly, you open the door for other people to do the same. This helps everyone work better.”

4 | Get comfortable with being uncomfortable

If you’re not used to asserting your boundaries, you may find yourself feeling awkward, scared, guilty, or nervous when addressing a personal limit. Give yourself space and time to build up your tolerance. Meditation and mindfulness is a great place to start as you’ll practice sitting with discomfort without reacting to it.

💙 Discomfort around boundaries may feel more pronounced for people-pleasers. Try this People-Pleasing session with Jay Shetty

5 | Take space

If you’re ever caught off guard by someone crossing a boundary, and you’re not sure how to respond, offer yourself permission to return to the conversation after you’ve had some time to reflect and recenter yourself. Try saying something like, “I need some time to process. Let’s revisit this conversation in a few hours/days.”

6 | Boundaries can be flexible

Our boundaries will change for different people, and they may shift over time based on the conditions of your life and the evolution of your relationship to work and your co-workers. It’s crucial to check in with yourself to ensure that your relational rules feel good for you. If your boundaries are quite rigid or extremely loose, it may indicate that something is going on underneath the surface for you. If that’s the case, consider getting some additional support.

💙 Learn Jeff Warren’s Secret to Better Boundaries

7 | Be prepared for unexpected reactions

Don’t be surprised if some people react poorly to your feedback. People who are controlling, manipulative, abusive, or who have unhealthy boundaries themselves may be triggered when you set a boundary. You can express your limits with compassion, but it’s not your job to make it okay for them.

““No, thank you” is a complete sentence. You don’t need to over-explain your work boundaries. “I can’t work past 5pm this Friday” or “I’m not available” is sufficient. ”

8 | Create consequences when boundaries are continually crossed

Cultivate clarity around what you want to do if someone constantly disrespects your boundaries. Will you take a break from performing certain tasks? Will you stop working with that co-worker? Choose something that you’re willing and ready to do and stay firm. If this feels challenging for you, don’t go it alone: ask a trusted friend to co-worker for support.

9 | Respect other people’s boundaries

People often give us both physical and verbal cues about their own boundaries. Notice if they take a step back, avoid eye contact, or seem uncomfortable. Of course, everyone is unique, and their cues will mean and communicate different things. Ultimately if you’re not sure what someone’s boundary is, you can always ask. “Are you open to some feedback?” or “Can I ask you a personal question?”

💙 Let Tamara Levitt help you navigate Boundaries with this meditation session

Check yourself into Boundaries Bootcamp with The Work Better Workbook

In this free workbook, we explore boundaries (setting, creating and communicating them), as well as rest, working smarter (not harder) and beating burnout. Re-examine and rebuild your relationship with work in four weeks.

Mental health is hard. Getting support doesn't have to be. The Calm app puts the tools to feel better in your back pocket, with personalized content to manage stress and anxiety, get better sleep, and feel more present in your life. Calm your mind. Change the world.